There are a few reasons as to why, but partly for self therapy and partly to demonstrate to others who have had similar experiences that they are not alone and that they can overcome. I aim to talk you through such traumas as long term physical and mental abuse within a family who seemed no different from any other (to outsiders). The anguish, the pain, the scars and the loneliness which results from being brought up in such a negative environment.
Plus the daemons and demons, of which I feel that the greatest misconception is to face them head on and banish them once and for all from your life in order to move forward. Or at least this is the perception that I have of therapists in general. Hopefully I shall be able to demonstrate another route where a series of coping strategies and healing mechanisms can in fact enable you to have full power and control over them. I for example, actually like my daemons at times and I even have healthy relationships with them. And no, I'm not psychotic.
What you are about to read can and will no doubt at some point in time effect other people’s lives, both those close to me and those of whom I speak. It's not that I write regardless of consequence but I feel compelled to show the world and abusers that I am not afraid, irrespective of possible retribution and even the possible demise of my own life. If others can benefit in the slightest, smallest way from the story of my life, then I have achieved something worthwhile.
I am living proof that a person can overcome some serious childhood and personal atrocities, yet elevate themselves to become who they are, happy to be who they are and live life in the whatever way they choose. Trust me, it has not been an easy journey and the road is never ending. We all change with age and circumstance, but we should all have the strength to be our own person.
Ideally I wanted to create this life project by means of recorded therapy, as therapists generally ask questions as you talk, which gives light to other aspects of each chapter and gets one thinking in more detail with greater content. Alas, who can afford a therapist for the amount of time I require? Though, if there happens to be any therapists or writers reading this and are willing to take on pro-bono work, then please contact me. I then moved to attempting self video sessions which simply didn't work out for me, so for the time being at least, the written word is all I have.
I shall be as accurate as possible with what I have to say though there shall be moments where my memory may not serve me as well at times. The aim of my structure for writing, is that of chronological order based on location from where I was living at the time. Hopefully this will add more of a flavour, colour and insight to who and why I am, the person I am today. With a mix of some good fond memories and experiences, as well as exposing the ugly truth.